"Hey, I love this product, too :) Visit my site and follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Bloglovin', GFC, Feedburner, Lookbook, FRIENDSTER.... I'll do the same once you do [URL droppage] :)"

I was about a year into blogging before I got a  comment similar to the one above. That's a pretty extended period of safety, if you ask me. I was fortunately #blessed to be visited by a lot of active, genuine commenters early on and many of them have actually become offline friends. Pat (BecomingSleek.com), Mara (retired betch!), Eula (EulaSleeps.com) and Bea (TheDalagaProject.com) were some of the first few people who gave me a surge of life in this dreary blogging world. There were also a handful of non-bloggers who were very encouraging, but sadly I never got to meet them :(

But back to the original story: followback commenters. In ye olden times, this blog echoed with radio silence... as in, you couldn't even hear crickets chirping. It was so bad that I once actually forced my sister to anonymously comment on one of my posts- found it here , thanks Blogger! I tried to pretend it was for laughs but deep inside, a little part of me was  that  desperate to get some sort of validation that this blog is not just me talking to a mirror.

This is a CHARADE! A FARCE I now own up to!!!

Needless to say, I treasured each and every single comment. Every comment to me was a golden opportunity to pick the minds of my readers and gather feedback. What else did they know about makeup that I could possibly use in my next post? Do they like my writing? Are my topics interesting? And yes, I tried to find these answers even from followback comments.

Now that I've grown into a stronger and smarter woman (saywut?), I actually don't treasure each and every single comment. If there's one thing that gets my eyes rolling as far back behind my head that I begin to look like Storm, it's followback comments. I've tried to find the good in them, but honestly they just generate bile in my system.

I absolutely hate followback comments. I don't judge those who engage nor allow it, but this blog is strictly a no-followback zone. Don't even think about it. Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200!

by RobertMakes

The Generic Complicomment:

Similar to, but not exactly a followback, is a complicomment. They're the generic  Hey, great post, awesome review, lovely site, you're so cute, [URL droppage] <3 <3 <3  comments. Complicomments are at least a bit better, because I understand the need to hustle. I've also dropped my link on blogs I half-read just to get the name out there. It's part of blog promotion, and nobody, established or not, should act like they're above it. At worst, generic complicomments are dull static noise; they don't contribute anything to the discussion but they're easily ignorable and don't kill the vibe of the blog post.


The Followback:

Now, I don't know if I just have a mercurial temper regarding certain issues but these things prick at me like a cactus dildo . Is it just me?  I'm really unforgiving of followbackers because there is no way to take it other than being bossed around. I hate the passive-aggressive pressure placed on me when an insincere commenter who is not even invested in my content tells me that they've followed you and would appreciate it tremendously if you'd do the same xoxo~ .

Let's all take a second to be real here: these idiots are trying to create a debt of goodwill, through a follow I did not ask for. Kind of cheeky, isn't it?  I mean, that's basically how the mafia ran things . They've already followed me, and since I'm so desperate to get followers I now owe them my marginally increased standing. So, I'm supposed to return the favor and follow their dinky blogs?

You guessed it.

The CONDITIONAL Followback:

That's not even the worst kind of followbackers. What really makes me want to wear knives on my hands and haunt little kids' dreams is when I've been told that they'd like to follow me but only if you follow me back. I'll check and do the same once I see you on my followers list <3

GOD. Follows are now being hostaged? Ring the fucking alarm. Call the fucking Google police. Down with the fucking ~internet syst3m. Anarchy. Rage. Graffiti!!!!

source

Sorry. I really hate followbackers and even thinking about them gets me all loopy.

As it stands, I'm now of the opinion that you should follow me if you want to. Heck, you can even hate-follow me, like when you follow a person just so you can criticize and rage on every little thing they do. At least these people have something to contribute. Just don't follow me if you're not interested in my content. I can live with a diminished standing if it means genuine comments and engaged readership.

And for the sake of whatever remains of my good mood: don't ever have the gall to tell me to follow you. You can ask nicely, but let's not pretend that all those hearts and smileys aren't an insidious knife pointed at my throat.


How do you feel about followback comments? For more Think Piece, Think Please pieces, click here.